#1: Talking to younger siblings and crushes
Hi, Kate! I was wondering what to say to my younger brother when he asked me what puberty or something like that is, and I need help for me to reply. Also, I was wondering about crushes: Is it okay to start having a crush early? Like in first grade or kindergarten?
Thank you!
-5th grade
Dear 5th grader, Thanks for the questions. Let me start with the one about younger siblings first:
Now that you are going through puberty, and are becoming an adult you have a chance to be a good role model for your brother. I am going to tell you what I tell adults about answering questions about puberty and sex when you are not ready to have a big conversation: If he asks you a question, answer him mater of factly without adding commentary. Then wait. Don’t say anything more unless he asks you another question. So for example:
“Eww, what is puberty, sounds gross.”
You say, “Puberty is the time when humans change from being a child with a child’s body to an adult with an adults body.” That is it. Don’t say anything else unless he asks more questions.
Or
“Why do 6th graders all smell, gross.”
You say, “As kids get older their body makes more sweat, and it has an odor. It is a normal part of growing up and will happen to you too one day.” And then stop.
The trick is to be calm and matter of fact. Don’t giggle, don’t yell, don’t say “gross.” Just calmly answer the question. If you do this, you will be teaching your brother that puberty is normal and ok and that humans are normal and ok. That would be a kind thing to do as an older sister.
And now onto crush
It is totally normal to have crushes. Totally normal to have crushes in first grade and kindergarten. Usually, the quality and intensity of those crushes changes as kids get older, but it is normal and ok to have them younger too.